


Moments Like This

by choking_on_gold



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: (even if S O M E O N E isn’t ready to admit it yet), Gen, I’m horrible at tagging, Moreid, No beta we die like illiterates, Spencer is a simp, and they’re very gay, derek is the best person ever, major fluff, some pinches of self hatred (only mentioned tho), sorry lol, unrequited feelings, with a tad bit of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:15:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27815941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/choking_on_gold/pseuds/choking_on_gold
Summary: 𝐼𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑚𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑠 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝐷𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑘 𝑀𝑜𝑟𝑔𝑎𝑛.
Relationships: Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid
Kudos: 30





	Moments Like This

**Author's Note:**

> 𝗔/𝗡: 𝑇ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑛 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑒 𝑖 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑠𝑙𝑒𝑒𝑝 𝑑𝑒𝑝𝑟𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑑, 𝑜𝑓𝑐, 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑖𝑡𝑠 𝑚𝑒, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑒𝑥𝑝𝑒𝑐𝑡 𝑛𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠. 𝐴𝑙𝑙 _“𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑐𝑠”_ 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑙𝑒𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑦 𝑚𝑎𝑑𝑒 𝑢𝑝 𝑏𝑦 𝑚𝑒, 𝑠𝑜 𝑑𝑜𝑛’𝑡 𝑔𝑜 𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑡, 𝑖 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑤𝑎𝑦 𝑡𝑜𝑜 𝑠𝑙𝑒𝑒𝑝 𝑑𝑒𝑝𝑟𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑑𝑜 𝑎𝑛𝑦 𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑐ℎ. 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑒𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑑 ℎ𝑎𝑙𝑓 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑝𝑖𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑏𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑓𝑎𝑛𝑎𝑟𝑡, 𝑎𝑙𝑠𝑜 𝑖 𝑘𝑒𝑝𝑡 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔 _“𝑀𝑖𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑙𝑒”_ 𝑏𝑦 𝑃𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 _“𝑀𝑖𝑟𝑟𝑜𝑟 𝐵𝑎𝑙𝑙”_ 𝑏𝑦 𝑇𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟 𝑆𝑤𝑖𝑓𝑡 𝑖𝑛 𝑚𝑦 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑑, 𝑠𝑜 𝑑𝑜 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙! :)

They hadn’t talked much lately. Cases were coming in heavy, they didn’t have time just for themselves anymore. Not that Spencer wanted to anyway. Ever since a month ago, the last thing he wanted to do is be in a room alone with Temporary Unit Chief Derek Morgan. And yet here they were. Stuck in a car together, as they drove to a prison 500 miles out of town. Just Spencer and Derek’s stupid perfect body, and his stupidly cute face, and the way he called him-

“Pretty boy!” _Ah! there it is!_ That sweet, voice, drowning out all the dirty thoughts that had ever crossed Spencers mind, replacing it with pure bliss, like walking hand in hand, or kissing in the rain, where it’s just the two of them, fuck everything else around. When their lips met, so sweet, so… blissful. Drowning out how all he wanted was Derek to push him aga-

“Spencer!” The older man snapped Spencer out of his thoughts. 

“Uh- yeah?” He stuttered.

“You’re staring, ya know?” He said with a smirk. 

“Oh, sorry, I- ahem- I didn’t mean to...” the boy chuckled.

“It’s alright, what were you thinking about?” He looked between Spencer and the road.

_Oh if only you knew…_

“Well then tell me!” Derek said, making Spencer realize he said it out loud.

“Oh um… I was just thinking, that, um, you know that it’s 73.6% more likely for queer couples in the workplace to have a successful relationship the the average heterosexual one, but becuase people tend to always bottle up those feeling in fear of rejection, so it’s kind of rare, which makes the successful ones even more… special…” he rambled.

“Ok… thanks kinda cute I guess, why were you thinking about it-”

“And did you know that it’s 65% more likely for your male best friend to be in love with you and never tell you then your female best friend. A study last year by the Wisconsin Health Care and Sience Devision proved that men loving men, and women loving women couples occur more often in friendships then—”

“What are you saying, Spencer?” Derek cut him off, furrowing his brows. 

“I think you know what I’m saying…” the young doctor whispered under his breath.

“Well, I don’t, so please, enlighten me!” There was an assertive tone to Derek’s words, but Spencer choose to read as confusion instead of disgust and anger.

“I’m saying that…” they boy wonder looked down in shame, and fiddled with his sachet, finding it Mitch more interesting then the conversation at hand.

“Reid, do you… do you like me?” He asked once and for all, and Spencer didn’t say anything for a few moments.

_I’m sorry! I don’t mean to, I just do! We’ve been through so much, and sometimes it’s just hard to differentiate the difference between platonic love and romantic love when all I want is to wake up next to you, and hold your hand, and have you right next to me when I wake up from a nightmare. And I know it’s too much to ask, and I know you don’t feel the same, but I just can’t help but feel this way for you, and I’m so so sorry!_

_You don’t choose who you fall in love with_

“I know kid, it’s just…” Derek swallowed, and stayed silent for a while, trying to gather his thoughts. “I’m not like that…”

“I know!” Spencer choked out, trying hold back a sob. “That’s what makes it so much harder. To know you could never feel the same…” he let a tear stream down his face. He lifted his head, gazing out the window, thinking about how this will affect their relationship. And how it wouldn’t have if he just stayed quiet. And as he watched the trees pass by, he wondered what it would be like to have Derek Morgan all for him. _But we don’t always get what we want, now do we?_

⇽——————⇾

After that things got… better. The constant bickering had shifted to not-so-often bickering, and they’d gotten extremely closer. There was a standing date night every Friday night-or at least every Friday night available. Even when they were too tired to do anything special, like a picnic or a walk in the park, they always found their way to the other’s place sometime during the night. They even slept in the same bed, cuddled, woke up to cute little stares, and made breakfast together. This goes on for so long, Derek forgets the time in his life where they weren’t so domestic. But Spencer can’t forget. And if you were to ask him, he’d tell you that it had been 5 years, 2 months and 17 days since he told Derek about his feelings. Not that it matters anyways... 

⇽——————⇾

Spencer placed his lips lightly on Derek’s neck, startling the man awake. He closed his eyes, and played clueless to Derek’s confusion, pretending to be asleep so he wouldn’t get caught. Derek looked around the plane for a little, before he gave up, giving in to tiredness once more. He shifted in his seat, placing his hand on top of Spencer’s that was hooked around the older agent’s other arm. He leaned his head to the side, ignoring the puffs of air he felt on his neck, from where Spencer’s head was dropped. He placed a kiss to the boy's forehead before simply leaning his head against Spencer’s, falling asleep moments later.

It was moments like these that always got to Spencer. When he was feeling like the world was collapsing in front of him and there was nothing he can do but watch as his life falls apart before his eyes- it was moments like these that always seemed to snap him out of it. He could think of lighthearted conversations he had with JJ, he could think about talking in different languages, book-talk, with Emily, he could think of messing around with Penelope, and how he let her teach him the ways of the internet. He could think of how sometimes, while admiring from afar- almost like an outsider’s perspective- he realized had found a home within the walls of solving for murder, and how he finally found the closest thing to a stable family he could ever ask for, with the best ‘mom and dad’ he could ever need.

He thought of how selfish it was of him to hope there were cases in self-intoxicating moments like these, so he could just go back to his family, and no longer poke wholes in his apartment walls, the loneliness drowning out every happy thought he could ever have. 

But no matter what he thought of, all he ever really needed to think about was the piercing eyes of Derek Morgan. A man so good, that not even a love confession made him want to leave Spencer’s side. Hell, if anything, it brought them closer together! And that’s all he ever needed to think about to be brought back down from the clouds of his own mind. And it was moments like these that always seemed to ground him when he felt the highest. So he did what he had to, and enjoyed the moment as best he could.

With Derek asleep once more, he placed his lips back to his neck, this time it was a little easier, given that the older man had shifted closer to him. He left the lightest, most heartwarming trail of kisses all over Derek’s s neck. He loved how comforting it was, the simple gesture, but his lips being pressed against the older man’s skin was the only thing he ever wanted. He held on to Derek’s arm a little tighter, almost out of fear of losing him. 

“Everything alright there, pretty boy?” He hears Derek whisper and freezes. “You’re holding onto my arm like your life depends on it.” 

Silence.

“I know you’re awake!” Derek lifts his head and brings his free hand up, fingertips barely under Spencer’s chin, solemnly to make him look back at Derek. And he does so with puppy eyes, looking like he’s begging for mercy at the arms of a monster. But Derek Morgan could never be a monster. 

“Hey, you know you can tell me anything, right?” Derek asks. He smiles. Puppy eyes still present in his facial expression, but there’s a warmth to it now. He nods slightly, tilting his head forward so that his forehead leaned against Derek’s cheek. He left it there for a few seconds, closing his eyes, smelling the home-like scent of his best friend before he dropped his head sideways onto Derek’s shoulder once more, picking up in the sweet, coffee scented trail he left off. The older man moved the hand that had involuntarily cupped Spencer’s face, and ran his fingers through the boy’s hair instead.

You see, it was in moments like these that felt like nothing could ever come between them. He was head off the heels in love with Derek Morgan, and moments like these fed into the fantasy of Derek being just as in love with him. And even though Spencer knew that that’s all it was- a fantasy- he pushed those thoughts aside for later. Staying here- with Derek- was all he ever truly needed. He would miss the team, and the thrill of the chase, but if something happened, he would be able to live without the rest of them. He could start life anew for all he cared about, as long as there was Derek Morgan by his side, he new everything would always be ok. And he couldn’t dare imagine a world where they had never met. Because you see, it was moments like these, that made all the pain and suffering worth enduring.


End file.
